Loving Yourself - Why is it so Hard?
Loving and caring for yourself is not selfish behaviour, it's essential behaviour. So why do we tend to beat ourselves up with thoughts like: I'm too fat, too thin, too unattractive, not clever enough, not confident enough, I don't have time for myself and so on.... We may tend to put others first long before we'll do anything for ourselves. That's completely unsustainable in the longrun. Strangely, many healers do this, hence the old adage 'healer heal thyself'. So why do we think and behave like this and what can we do about it?
This is learned behaviour and out of control empathy. We're incredibly good at being negative about ourselves; being positive, loving & accepting of ourselves is not part of the curriculum or even in the home. We judge ourselves against media images and we put others first if that's the way it went at home when we were kids. Children are not revered in western society, they are shaped and controlled by the adults around them. Now that's all very well if the adults are wholesome characters but it's a very different story if they're not.
Empathy for others - be that family, friends, partners, colleagues - is a good thing, providing you have your own boundaries and can stand as a strong individual in your own right. However, extreme empathy - where everyone else comes before you - is most definitely not a healthy way to operate!
The good news is, if we are so great at thinking negatively then we can learn to be great at thinking positively. EFT, Holistic Counselling, Life Coaching, Guided Meditation, Mindfulness and other techniques are very powerful ways of doing this.
If this post resonates with you then come and work with me. Wishing you love, happiness and success.