Mend Your Broken Heart and Start Over

There's no pain like a break-up and we've all been there!   But there is a fine line between real love and co-dependency and sometimes it's hard to know the difference.  Did we really feel loved and happy?  Did the relationship evolve over time and allow us the freedom to shine and be the very best we could be?  Grab a pen and paper and let's see if the following questions can shed some light on how it really was....

1.   First of all, own it and wallow in it for a while - no point in swerving it or pretending it doesn't hurt like hell because it does.  Write a list of your feelings and keep it to refer back to.

2.    Meanwhile, care for yourself in the healthiest way you can and set an intention in your mind to recover from this heartbreak - even if you feel that's impossible right now.

3.    Write down what you loved so much about this person.  Score your overall happiness level in the relationship out of 10 ... and be honest.  

4.    Was there a downside?  What were the negatives?

5.    Where did it all go wrong?  Can you analyse that point in the relationship and see what you can learn from it?  Or was it all a big surprise, and if so, were you paying enough attention to what was actually happening in the relationship?

6.    Was it your fault or did they just say it was all your fault?  Bit of both perhaps?  Be honest about this too.

7.    What would you do differently if you had the chance all over again?  Or, what will you do differently in a future relationship?  

8.    Did you notice any similarities between this relationship and previous ones?  Think about this, were there any familiar patterns?  This will help you to be conscious of future choices.

9.    Don't beg, don't relapse, find space to breathe and be with yourself for a while.  That does not exclude finding support from friends, family, groups etc.  It just means that this is your heartbreak and you must look into your own heart for answers, don't avoid it.

10.  Immerse yourself in nature, books, the gym, helping others, whatever you find healthy solace in.  Find something else to love for a while - a hobby, a passion, rather than another person too soon.  Give yourself space to be you.

Don't let your heartbreak define you.  It may seem like the end of the world but it isn't and you are so much more than just one half of a relationship.  Keep the notes you've made and refer back to them from time to time to see how you are doing.  And for now, put the focus on loving yourself and finding the real you - the person that deserves to be happy with or without a partner.

With Love and Blessings, Susan

For Appts at Greenwich and Hale Clinic, Harley Street
call me on 07905 110966
Biomagnetism, EFT, Reiki, Counselling

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